Monday, August 2, 2010

What's in a Name?

Some of the worst films ever made were blessed with memorable titles. Below, in chronological order, is a list of ten such films. Though I have not seen most of the films listed, I regrettably admit that I have viewed some (I will not say which):

1. Bride of the Gorilla (1951). Director: Curt Siodmah.

Key Plot Points: (1) Plantation owner kills elderly employee, (2) marries dead employee’s beautiful wife, (3) old native witnesses murder and turns him into gorilla.

2. Saga of the Viking Women and Their Voyage to the Waters of the Great Sea Serpent (1957). Director: Roger Corman.

Key Plot Points: (1) Lonely Viking women search for their missing men, (2) barbarians capture Viking women, (3) enter the Sea Serpent.

3. Attack of the Giant Leeches (1959). Director: Bernard L. Kowalski.

Key Plot Points: (1) Local moonshine swiller sees giant creature, (2) people begin to disappear, (3) local game warden and dynamite mean the end of the leeches.

4. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1962) Director: Nicholas Webster.

Key Plot Points: (1) Santa kidnapped by Martians, (2) Earth kids meet Mars kids, (3) Santa turns Mars robot into mechanical toy.

5. The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!? (1964). Director: Ray Dennis Steckler.

Key plot points: (1) Jerry falls in love with stripper, (2) stripper takes Jerry to gypsy fortune teller, (3) fortune teller’s sister turns Jerry into psycho killer.

6. Wrestling Women vs. the Aztec Mummy (1964). Director: Rene Cordona.

Key Plot Points: (1) Lolita (the Golden Ruby) and her sister battle evil Princess Fugiyata and her Asian female wrestlers, (2) Xochitl the Mummy helps the good gals, (3) Xochitil can turn into a snake or bat.

7. Billy the Kid Versus Dracula (1966). Director: William Beardine.

Key Plot Points: (1) Dracula goes West, (2) has Indians kill stagecoach passengers and assumes the identity of one of the dead, (3) under his new identity, arrives at town and meets the sister he has never met – and her fiancĂ©, Billy the Kid.

8. Fat Guy Goes Nutzoid (1986). Director: John Golden.

Key Plot Points: (1) Overweight patient escapes from mental institution, (2) travels to New York City, (3) hilarity ensues.

9. Surf Nazis Must Die (1987). Director: Peter George.

Key Plot Points: (1) Post-apocalyptic future, (2) neo-nazi surf punks, (3) bloodthirsty grandma.

10. Hitler Meets Christ (2007). Director: Brendan Keown.

Key Plot Points: (1) One man in a train station believes he is Hitler, (2) another believes he is Christ, (3) hilarity ensues.


  1. I really need to see ALL of these. Especially number 5. :P

  2. It seems like 1957 to 1966 was the prime time for this category. Perhaps could have included "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes", and "Cannibal Women In The Avocado Jungle of Death" and of course, "Snakes on a Plane" which could also be the best title ever.